Calling all Crazy Beatches

Disco Ball

I have struggled with what to write on this blog. What do fiction readers want to read about?  It’s hard to say. I like to read blogs about writing, but my readers who aren’t writers probably don’t.

So, in the next few weeks I’m working on a new schedule and hopefully a new theme for this forum.  In the interim, here are two snippets of a scene I am working on. I don’t think I’m giving anything away.

Lee is the hero/main character of this story, and he plays opposite Elizabeth. This is a scene at a fund-raiser that happens fairly early in the story.

I’d like your input on this scene. You’ll see two casual women at the party who make some snippy comments. Or bitchy. Are they catty enough? Too catty?

I don’t want to expand on their roles much in this party, but I would like your input. Have fun getting a sneak peak.

Lee looked up at the giant screen showing pictures of the guests that night and his eyes widened when he saw a shot of him kissing Elizabeth’s ear. He heard hooting and hollering from somewhere in the room, and from somewhere else he heard a catcall. Great.

“I guess that’s proof we’re dating,” he said in a low tone to Fox.

“Right there in HD for everyone to see, bro. Hey, at least you haven’t lost your touch.”

“I need a drink,” he grunted and walked over to the car set up in the corner.

“Bring me a beer,” Fox called back.

He was waiting in line behind a couple of women in short tight cocktail dresses when he heard one of them say, “That hot young stud with Elizabeth Banks would look even better if he’d cut his hair.”

“Are you kidding? He’s hot now! He’ll probably be in the market in a few months. He’s just a toy to mess with while she’s on the rebound. They never stick around. Besides, he’s way too young for her. My money is on James. I’ve heard he’s up for an ambassadorship. Why wouldn’t she take him back?”

The line moved forward, the women bought their drinks and turned to leave. The mouthy one saw him and flushed slightly that she had been caught talking about him, and then winked at him. She fished in her purse for a card. “Here’s my card. Call me if you want to go out sometime.”

He wanted to say something cutting to wipe the smirk off her face, but instead he took the card and winked, and she kept going. He tossed it in the trashcan as he passed. Too young. That was ridiculous. It always amused him when women bitched about men talking about their physical attributes, but when they were alone they did the same thing. He handed Fox his bottle of beer.

 

They stood to leave just as Candy and Juliette, two women that had gone to the University of Georgia with Elizabeth, came in. Instead of long skirts, they had gone for short cocktail dresses that clung to them in all the right places. Elizabeth had tried on the style before, but always felt like a hooker so she never bought them.

“Elizabeth, I liked that picture they flashed up there a few minutes ago of you and that stud you’re dating. What’s his name?” Candy asked.

“Lee. What picture?”

“You know, the one of him leaning in all kissy kissy,” Juliette said. They made smooch sounds with their mouth and started giggling.

“I haven’t seen it,” Elizabeth said, feeling offended.

“You’ll have to. Then the camera pans out for another shot and I tell you, his buns are AMAZING. When you get done with him you need to hook us up.”

“I thought you were married?”

“We’re separated, but by the time you’re done with him I’ll be divorced and ready for my own rebound man. I’m sure I could keep him in the style he’s accustomed to. As long as he does some work around the house, if you know what I mean.”

Elizabeth didn’t consider herself a prude, but she wanted to claw the other woman’s eyes out. She was about to blast her when Laura touched her arm and nudged her forward.

“We’ve got to go. Nice meeting you,” Laura called out.

“Was it my imagination, or was she just a complete bitch?”

“You didn’t imagine it. I felt like I was in middle school all over again. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“I’m glad you were here. I was about to say something I would regret later.”

“I wonder what picture they are talking about?” Laura asked.

They came back out it in the ballroom and stopped as a life-size picture of Elizabeth and Lee dancing filled the screen. His hand appeared to be cupping her ass, although she swore she didn’t remember him doing that.

“Great,” she muttered under her breath.

“And that’s not even the best one,” she heard Lee say.

“I guess that’s what happens when you skip all the parties for six months. They come at you like piranha. Are you ready to go? I’ve had about all this I can stand.”

Copyright 2013, Lily Bishop

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So what do you think? i would love your comments below. Keep checking back in the next few weeks as I move closer to release date.

 

(Picture By Sarah from Brizzzzzle, UK (Disco ball in blue  Uploaded by TheCuriousGnome) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)