I’m married to a lawyer, and we often joke about the warning labels, or the warnings that they include at the end of commercials for a new drug treatment.
For one of her school projects, my 12-year old daughter wrote I now believe is the universal a disclaimer.
The product above does not reflect the opinions of me, my friends, my parents, or my cat. Safety goggles may be required for use. Keep in a cool dry place. If ear irritation occurs call your local doctor. If ear irritation persists call your mom. Slippery when wet. Not responsible for a refund if the following happens: Fire, water, volcanic eruptions, gas leaks, sunburn, stickiness, pain everywhere, pimples, zits, skin discoloration, comas, seizures, breaking of bones, loss of mental awareness, loss of physical awareness, wetness, explosion, inability to turn off, inability to come off, inability to breathe, inability to move, inability to change facial expression, inability to talk, inability to write, inability to read, or death.
There you have it, folks. If you need a disclaimer, feel free to grab this one.
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