Peanut Butter Hands of Death or Why I Shouldn’t Bake

I really shouldn’t bake. That’s the short version. The long version involves my daughter, a box of Rice Krispies, way too much granulated sugar everywhere, and peanut butter melted to the consistency of, well, I bet you can guess.

But I digress.

To understand why I have trouble baking, you have to first get inside my head. First, I’m trying to eat healthier, so when I see the tremendous amount of butter and sugar in most baked goods I cringe. And I start trying to convince myself I can lighten it up.

Second, I’m not the most patient person when it comes to measuring.

Third, I’ve been known to randomly substitute ingredients, such as self-rising flour instead of plain flour.

Add all of those together, and usually when I bake I end up with a disaster. But my daughter loves to cook, and I don’t want her to think her mother is completely incapable of baking fun stuff, so I told her we would make peanut butter balls. I had already scoured the internet and found a recipe that added Rice Krispies, which I thought would add some texture and would be healthier than just peanut butter. I had all the stuff. So we commenced.

As directed, I melted together peanut butter and butter. I had planned to halve the recipe, so I took half of the desired quantities. The directions said to melt, not to soften.

I told my daughter to measure out the Rice Krispies and then to add the powdered sugar. She thought I said regular sugar, and we had a giant bowl of Rice Krispies with a LOT of granulated sugar. Fail. So we started over with more Rice Krispies and powdered sugar. Which spilled when I opened it. So not I hae a few spatters of Rice Krispies (which spilled when she opened the bag) and powdered sugar in blotches on the counter. But it was all good, right?

The recipe said to add everything together and form balls. Sound simple enough. Except maybe my peanut butter was too liquidy. For whatever reason, balls would not form. My sweet girl tried al2014-01-04 16.13.27l she could. This is what we had to work with. (These are her hands)  They would not adhere at all.

All was not lost. I posted the picture to my personal Facebook page, and there was much laughter, including a statement from my husband, to quote “Dear God. And this is why you shouldn’t bake when I’m out of town.”

We added more Rice Krispies, and they still wouldn’t form balls, so we ended up taking hunks of peanut butter and sticking the mess to them. It worked, in a fashion. After they set in the refrigerator they became fairly solid and we decided to try to add the chocolate.

Well, since we had irregular masses and not balls, dipping wasn’t really feasible. Plus, they were really weren’t solid enough to stay together if you dipped. So we used a spoon and spooned chocolate over them.  We ended up with something that looked like this:

2014-01-04 21.53.35 Not bad. Sort of like oddly misshapen turtles. They actually tasted better than they looked. The chocolate cooled fast than I expected, and made a bit of a mess, but at that point we were ready to just be done.

As long as you keep them pretty cool, they will stay together, but if they sit out for even a bit, they get melty.

Fail.

I used to be able to bake. I used to make a fabulous cheesecake. When my husband and I were dating I baked him a heart shaped cheesecake (cue… Awwwwww). But alas. That was then. This is now.  Baking cornbread is about the edge of my baking these days. My daughter and I had fun, so it was so worth it.

 

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